Just Because I Can
by Chaotica
Summary: It sounded like a good idea at the time.


A/N: Blame 'Karma Leafbarer' for the initial inspiration.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the show, I don't own the song. If I did I wouldn't be here writing this, I'd be out being rich.  
  
  
Just Because I Can  
  
  
Dib had started going to 'Chronic University' a few years ago.   
A few years before that Zim had discovered that his whole mission and most of his life had been a sham. A ploy to get rid of him. It had brought him to the point of suicide.  
But the night he had made his first attempt Gir had shown him how much he was needed.  
Unfortunately he made a second attempt at it. That time it had been Dib that had found him.  
They had come to an understanding. Dib had almost killed himself in his own despair of the world. His only savior had been his sister who had walked in the bathroom moments before he slit his wrists.   
She had beaten him up pretty good for it and told him that if he ever killed himself she'd hunt him down in the afterlife and give him another beating.  
Since Zim was now totally alone Dib decided to give the menace a chance. Or at least he wouldn't be the one to expose him to the world.  
Now they went to 'CU'. Zim was majoring in Psychology and Topology, and wasn't all that bad at 'Basic Art'. He and Dib were about the same height and he had finally changed his wig to something more stylish when Gaz had insisted he do something with his hair.  
Dib was working on a music degree but still placed his future career in the paranormal. It was his first love and was the only thing that had kept him from going stir crazy at home.   
At the moment they were at 'The Spinning Flamingo', a not excruciatingly popular hang out for collage students. Mainly people like Dib, alienated (Don't mind the pun) by their peers and left with nothing but their minds to help them.   
Zim didn't like it that much there. Too many Humans. But it was small and dark, he got free drinks because Dib worked there as an entertainer some nights. So it had its up side.   
They sat at a table waiting for Dib to be announced.   
Zim and Gaz had started to date some time during Zims' senior year. She was at a class of her own at the moment. She was only one year behind her brother. They were barely two years apart in age.  
Dib had immediately blown up at Zim for it. But after awhile he realized Zim wouldn't hurt her and had given them his blessing.   
Sort of.   
He still didn't like the idea but since Zims' race had abandoned him Gaz was the only person he had.  
The lights on the stage became brighter. "And now, Bunny!" A voice yelled over the speakers.   
A girl who worked there came on stage and started to sing. Dib watched her silently from his chair.  
Zim gave him a look.   
"Shut up Zim." Dib muttered.  
"I didn't say anything." He enjoyed torturing Dib with the Humans' many crushes.  
After a while the girl stopped singing. The people in the small room clapped for her.   
"You all know who he is." The voice on the speakers said. "The guy with the big head. Dib!"  
Dib wished that Miko would stop saying that 'big head' part. But he went onstage anyway.   
He pulled a stool out and adjusted his microphone. "Well hello again." He said. He picked up his guitar. "This is not one that my sister wrote like I usually do." He strummed a bit. "This is one I found on the Internet about a week ago. I'm pretty sure I got it right. Some of you might know what it is." He stopped strumming. "I also don't mean to offend anyone, but this was too funny to pass up."  
He started playing. A few people in the audience snickered as they recognized it.  
Zim knew it too. He's been hearing it for weeks as Dib memorized it. He was glad they weren't in the same dorm room. That would have driven him insane. Not that Gir didn't already do that.  
Dib started to sing.  
"Here we are, dear old friend, you and I, drunk again. Laughs have been had, and tears have been shed. Maybe the whisky's, gone to my head." The audience snickered some.  
"But If I were gay." Laughter rippled through the room. "I would give you my heart, and if I were gay you'd be my work of art, and if I were gay we'd swim in romance. But I'm no gay, so get your hand out of my pants."  
Laughter rang out now with some clapping from some of the more drunk listeners.  
"It's not that I don't care. I do. I just don't see myself in you." More giggling from the audience. "Another time, another scene, I'd be right behind you." He winked into the audience. "If you know what I mean.   
People burst out laughing.  
"If I were gay I would give you my soul, and if I were gay I'd give you my whole." He paused slightly then quickly he said. "Being." Many cheered at this. "If I were gay, we would tear down the walls. But I'm not gay, so won't you stop cupping my. Hand."  
Another burst of laughter and a bit of cheering from one table.  
"We've never hugged, we've never kissed. I've never been intimate with your fist." More snickering and clapping. "You have opened brand new doors, get over here and drop, your drawers!" Applause filled the room with cheers and laughter.  
He stood up. "Thank you for not pelting me with blunt objects and remember, 'The Spinning Flamingo' does not always condone my songs. If you want to sue someone don't sue me. I'm broke." He waved as he walked off stage with some clapping from the audience.   
The next entertainer, a guy who did visual jokes, went up after him.  
Dib sat down and took a drink from his half-empty glass.  
"Gaz is right, you're definitely on crack." Zim said.  
  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
YAY! It was short! And fun! And I got Zim to say that Dib was on crack! Wooooooooo!  
  
Chaotica~  
  
MADNESS! - Zim  



End file.
